Getting Along

Serving two by two isn't always as easy as it sounds. Sometimes you find your best friend for life, or you seem like you just got added to their hit list. Either way getting along is an essential part of the mission. I enjoyed reading this post from Hipster RM, that shared advice for getting along. 

I will be sending a few of these tips along in my emails to my brother, his current companion seems to be one of these "sweet spirits" as mentioned below ;)

Getting Along with Companions: 

Tips and tricks for future missionaries

BY HIPSTER RM

Let’s be honest. If your papers are in or your call has been assigned, the following has crossed your mind at least once: “I really hope I don't have a crazy companion.”

Well, you probably will have at least one. #reality

But every RM has been there and I’ve yet to hear of a a missionary being released for murdering his companion. And by released I mean incarcerated. #youvegotthis

Whether you like it or not, you’ll be spreading the good Word two by two.

But here are a few tips and tricks from some classy RMs on how to deal with those sweet spirits.

“I did have a rough 3 transfers with the same person, and I love the guy but we didn’t mesh very well at all. We taught well, but our alone time was full of tension. I think a lot of it had to deal with me being a bit of a punk, which I’m sorry for. I would think it was me not knowing how to climatize to another’s upbringing.” -Jordan Welch, Montana Billings Mission

“Try to empathize with them, I had a comp with severe depression and anxiety and I probably learned more from him than any other companion because I had to try to put myself in his shoes. Try to see things from their point of view.” -Cameron Dunn, Oklahoma Tulsa Mission

“Service service service.” -Jordan Mills, Mexico Merida Mission

“The end of a transfer(s) will always come. I look back now and realize that my hard transfers weren’t really all that bad but lacked the perspective at the time to realize it.” -Justin Wilcox, Taichung Taiwan Mission

“I’d just say the main thing is is to quit complaining get over yourself and realize you guys are there for one goal and one purpose. And as you focus on the Lord everything else magically falls into place and you will be so busy with work you won’t have time to bicker back and forth!” -Jordan Unga, Montana Billings Mission

“Service was NOT the solution for me. Service just made him hate me all the more. I just did my best to ensure that I wasn’t harboring any negative feelings or thoughts. The few times we had peace were when we found a common interest. He knew I liked to draw and he wanted to learn to paint so on P Days we would paint together. Find common ground (something besides the church)” -Tanner Gilliland, Brazil Joao Pessoa Misson

“When you get into an argument, slowly but carefully switch your position to the side your companion was taking. If they’re still disagreeing with you, point it out. Best experiment I ever tried.” -Michael Lanham, Montana Billings Mission

I agree that service is good, but I had a comp who HATED when I tried to serve her. Once we found something we both liked we bonded. She was the worst, but that was the transfer that I most learned about the atonement.” -Jessica Black, Brazil Fortaleza Mission

“I had on really hard comp we didn’t get along at all but what I wish I did was focus on his strengths one he was a convert so he related well with people. I would say to pray for a way to get along with him and repent for the hard feelings. Trying to see where they are coming from is helpful. Even if you do not like them love them and compliment them on what they do well. Having comp inventory was helpful. When someone talks bad about them stand up for them don’t agree or if someone is giving them a hard time again stand up for them.” -Brock Seymore, Montana Billings Mission

“Serve your companion, make them breakfast, make their bed, etc. You cannot truly love someone if you do not sacrifice for them. Sacrifice your time by doing something for them even if that means to listen.” -John Bottema, Washington Seattle Mission

“My stake president gave me some good advice when he set me apart. He said that I should always try to make my companion a successful missionary. If you’re doing what’s best for them, you’re forgetting what you want and working toward a common goal. And heck, if your companion is successful, chances are you probably will be too.” -Kinsey Bowman, California San Diego Mission

“Just suck it up, work well together, and most importantly work hard while following the spirit. And of course, don’t make it obvious” -Mitch Adams, California Roseville Mission

“Something that helped me a ton was when there was something that bugged me or a concern that I saw in my companion I wouldn’t point it out straight away, I would wait a couple three days (if it wasn’t an obvious problem that hurt our teaching) and see if it was a pattern or if that was really the thing that was bugging me. It gave me time to gather my thoughts and when comp inventory came I had constructive things to say and it made me sound less like an idiot. Other times I knew that the behavior wasn’t anything wrong and I just needed time to adjust to it, if I’d “corrected” them in the moment it would’ve been unnecessary.” -Shane Wood, Montana Billings Mission

“I learned how to stand up for myself with my tough companions, I didn’t teach the way they wanted or wasn’t as cool as they thought I should have been but sometimes you have to stand up for yourself-respectfully! I’ve heard of Elders slamming eachother into walls and breaking doors and stuff and that’s not productive. Make sure that you’re doing what you feel is right and try to work it out as best as possible.” -Emily Ivie, Montana Billings Mission

Missionary Tip #2

Be Better

My Mom recently wrote my brother an email in hopes to inspire him to be better than his companion. He is currently companions with a rough character, and it has been a challenge for him. I loved my Mom's advice here, talking about starting a list that you can continually add on to with ideas of how you want to be as a leader. This is especially helpful when your leader isn't the best. 

"When I heard about your new companion it reminded me of something Pres. Cook (Stake President) said when you were set apart to be a missionary. His daughter was going through a rough patch in Brazil due to her senior companion being obsessed with going home in a few months, whereas she had over a year left. He gave her advice from his mission where he had a similar situation. He decided that it was a great learning opportunity for him. He learned what not to be like as a senior companion and he vowed to be different, to be better, to focus and be excited about his mission until the very end. So this too can be a learning opportunity for you, of what not to do as a leader. You can start making a list of what you want to be like as a trainer or senior companion, and remember YOU ARE A GREAT MISSIONARY!"




* Feel free to click on our contact tab and share a Missionary tip that has worked for you and your missionary.  

Missionary Tip #1

BE POSITIVE

My Mom shared this song that she sung to us growing up in my Brother's latest email. It talks about positivity being the key to happiness. As we all know missionaries go through ups and downs on their mission and here is a little reminder to bring them up from a down. 

"Ac-Cent-Tchu-Ate the Positive"

You've got to accentuate the positive

Eliminate the negative

Latch on to the affirmative

Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum

Bring gloom down to the minimum

Have faith or pandemonium

Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate my last remark

Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark

What did they do

Just when everything looked so dark

Man, they said we better

Accentuate the positive

Eliminate the negative

Latch on to the affirmative

Don't mess with Mister In-Between

No, do not mess with Mister In-Between

The music was written by Harold Arlen and the lyrics by Johnny Mercer, and it was published in 1944.

Tips to the Lord's Work

Article found at Tips for Sister Missionaries

Keys to Missionary Work

by David Ren Jenkins

1)      Develop a deep gratitude for what the Gospel of Jesus Christ has done in your life such that it is consciously in the forefront of your mind throughout your day. (In other words, you think about it constantly.)

2)      Perfect your love of others and your desire to see them blessed by the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This, too, must be consciously in the forefront of your mind throughout your day. Soften your heart through scripture reading, prayer, and fasting, but DOING it is what matters. If you so choose, ‘take it upon yourself’ to share the word of God ‘all the remainder of your days’. Read and pray about Helaman 5:4. Also  come up with a list of scriptures that inspire you to do missionary work, such as D&C 4, Alma 36:24, D&C 60:2, Mosiah 28:3. etc.  Read and ponder them DAILY. If you do not do this daily, it will just be something you think about occasionally, but never do!

3)      Care more about others than what others think of you. D&C 60:2

4)      ‘One is all that matters’. One person. One soul is all that matters in all of God’s creation. Learn to love ‘the one’ enough to share everywhere, for every person you ever meet means everything to God.

5)      Be ready for you greatest fear. My greatest fear is that someone will yell at me and treat me rudely. I am ready for that fear. If someone does yell at me or treat me rudely, then (inside my mind) I say, ‘Yes! I did it! I talked to them!’It doesn’t matter what they say. I am not after an answer of ‘yes’ or ‘no’. I am after a ‘way of life’ of sharing, and each time I share, it will be so much easier next time. Sharing the gospel is about getting yourself to do it, over and over, in the moment and getting used to that.

6)      Don’t base your self-worth, or any judgment at all on what they say. Many people share the gospel and are so scared that the person might say ‘no’. IT IS OKAY IF THEY DO, as a matter of fact it is their right. When people feel it is okay for them, either way, they feel comfortable and will make a decision based on their heart instead of on ‘not wanting to hurt your feelings’.  This way they can feel the Spirit.

7)      Tell people what it means to you. Don’t try and convince them of anything through scriptural rhetoric and proof. Tell them what it has done for you (they can’t argue with that) and the Spirit will manifest the truth of it unto them.

8)      If you feel comfortable, they feel comfortable.

9)      The first thought is the Spirit saying, ‘Go talk to that person’.  The second thought is just you talking yourself out of it. Learn to recognize this! You can always give yourself ‘great reasons’ no to do anything (and you will find them!) Learn to talk yourself INTO it all day long.

10)   When the Lord knows you will talk to people, he will bring them out of their way.  This is a very important key. When you are willing and ready to talk to people (and maybe even pray and say, ‘Heavenly Father, please put people in my path today who are ready and I will talk to them.’) the Lord will drag them out of their way to meet you. When He drags them out of their way to bump into you and you just say, ‘Excuse me,’ and keep going, then He will be reluctant to do it again.

11)   Never condemn someone to saying ‘No’.  You can never tell if someone will say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. The person you are sure would say ‘yes’, may not be interested at all, and the person you thought would say ‘no’, may voraciously wish to hear the message. Never condemn someone to saying ‘no’ by not giving them the gift of choice. Let them decide.

12)   Share because you love them.  They will feel when you are speaking to them for this reason.

13)   Allow the goodness of the Spirit to flow within you as you speak.  You have so much ‘goodness’ inside, especially regarding the gospel. Allow it to animate you and your smile as you share the gospel.

14)   Know the strength of your message in the moment you share it.  In other words, ’No Stinky Rag’. If in the moment you share, you doubt anythingabout your message, yourself, or that the person may not want to talk to you, they will feel it. In the moment you speak, you must know the power of your message and the truth of it.

15)   Be conscious of where the other person is at, and follow the Spirit. When called upon, bear a powerful testimony about the truth of this message. But if you feel inspired, be conscious that they might need something different. Telling them this is ‘the one true church’, when they don’t believe there is a true church, may be like telling them, ‘This is the one true yogurt and you must eat only this kind’. The Spirit will let you know, but be ready to witness the truth, powerfully, at all times and in all places (Mosiah 18:8-9).

16)   When they feel the Spirit, invite them to make a commitment  (go to church, etc.). The Church spent a lot of money researching how people become converted. They found that when people feel the Spirit, and are asked to make a commitment, then they keep it, that is how they are converted. The key here is to always ask, but especially ask if they feel the Spirit. That is a key moment.

17)   If the Lord knows you will talk to people, he will drag them out of their way.  When you are willing to talk to people everywhere, the Lord will set up opportunities.

18)   Train your mind to be a ‘Missionary Mind’. Train yourself to consciously see missionary opportunities everywhere, and you act on them.

It is my prayer you will learn to overcome your fear and share, and make a difference in the lives of others constantly. The gospel is true, and not only true but so important. It can change the heart of any man or woman and return them to who they are as a child of God. It is my prayer we will do so, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen- Brother David Jenkins