For the Parents of Returned Missionaries
Do's and Don'ts
Full article here
1. DO remember your purpose and their purpose - it is the same. The overarching purpose is the same.
Though they leave from the mission and come home into a new life. We all still have the same purpose. To invite others to come unto Christ and become more like Him. Remember that this is what they eat, sleep and drink as a missionary and it should be the same for us. Don’t be surprised if they still eat sleep and drink it. Embrace it. Be humble and learn from what they have learned. They have so much to teach.
2. DO be the kind of adult you want them to be! The bar was raised for them but it was also raised for you.
Understand Preach my Gospel because that is their language. If you know the language of Preach My Gospel, you’ll know their language. If you haven’t already, don’t be afraid to pull out the manual and read through it. If you do, it’s guaranteed that your communication with them will improve when they get home.
3. DON’T treat them like you did before their mission. DO let them be something better and greater than they were before.
Ask them how they think they have changed. Ask them to teach you what they have learned. Remember, they are not the high school kid who you knew before. They have been through a rigorous program for 18 months to two years and there is no way that they are the same. The worst thing you could do is let them lose what they have gained on the mission. This may be uncomfortable, but love them enough to let them rise above who they were before their mission. Feel free to share this article with your recently returned missionary about how they can keep the missionary “glow” forever: www.thereturnedmissionary.com/keeping-the-missionary-glow/
4. DO encourage them in their daily personal prayer and scripture study and DO hold daily family prayer and scripture study and weekly family home evenings with them.
Support them to keep the same standards they kept when in the mission. And when they are ready and the circumstances permit, encourage them to go to the Family Home Evening activities in their YSA wards. Until then, do the best you can to support the standards they lived in the mission. This will bless your home.
5. DON’T let them have a long vacation, but DO strongly encourage them to become anxiously engaged after a short rest.
A happy returned missionary is a busy returned missionary. If you do decide to go on a short family trip or vacation after their mission, this is fine. But when you get back, help them to stay busy! Provide a list of things that they can do that will keep them busy. They are used to working longer hours than a full-time job in the regular world. If they don’t get working soon, it will be quite a shock to them. Don’t be afraid of rest, but help them to keep working hard. Hard work is a good thing. You know this.
6. DO use a balanced approach in encouraging them regarding dating and marriage, finding a job, getting an education, church service, family responsibility, etc.
Encourage them. Don’t pressure them. They are already used to setting goals and achieving them, but this is a brand new world for them. There will be more articles on this website that will cover many of these subjects such as dating, marriage, employment, education, etc. Just make sure they know they are loved and above all help them remember the highest in themselves, that they are born to be great, and that the best always happens after the mission.
7. DO lovingly help them to become functioning adults, dressing and acting the part.
They are expected to be adults for two years or 18 months. They budgeted for themselves, shopped for themselves, did their own laundry, cleaned their apartment, paid rent and utilities, went to the doctor and everything else. Don’t take that away from them when they get home. Let them be functioning adults again. Though you should make sure that they get all the medical and dental help when they get home. You also may suggest a new wardrobe for them when they return, but don’t be offended if they don’t want your style advice. Here is a quick post from our blog about why it is a good idea for RMs to refresh their wardrobe, if possible.
8. DO encourage them to pick one ward to attend and to have a calling in that ward as soon as possible, rather than float between YSA ward and your home ward.
From the church handbook: “Eligible members may, in consultation with their parents, choose to be members of the YSA ward or to remain in their conventional ward.” (Handbook 2, section 16.4) If you can, encourage bishops to call them immediately as ward missionaries and as temple workers (where possible). Returned Missionaries need the same things as new members: (1) A friend, (2) a calling, and (3) nourishment by the good word of God.
9. DO encourage them to attend their sacrament meeting and other meetings as well as the temple and institute, every week.
10. DON’T encourage them to participate in worldly media, movies, or video games they missed while on the mission. DO strongly encourage them to follow the standards and guidelines found in For the Strength of Youth and Preach My Gospel.
Read more http://www.thereturnedmissionary.com/for-the-parents-of-returned-missionaries/
Showing posts with label Return Missionary. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Return Missionary. Show all posts
Friday, April 25, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
Finally an RM ... What Now?
Most returned missionaries feel a lot like this
when they get home,
So for all the RM's out there that are wondering what's next ...
"He had been home ten days. … He still sometimes thought in German, forgot and used German words, which made people smile. At first he had been lost without a companion and the daily routine of missionary work, but in the last two or three days there had been moments when he had to think about his mission to remember it, as if it were possible to forget the whole two years.
… At first he had thought that everything and everyone … had changed, but then he realized that it was himself, and that change was proof of what had happened to him on his mission, how he was new, which he couldn’t have understood in Germany. (Douglas H. Thayer, “Elder Thatcher,” Under the Cottonwoods and other Mormon stories, Provo, Utah: Frankson Books, 1977, pp. 79–80)
when they get home,
So for all the RM's out there that are wondering what's next ...
"He had been home ten days. … He still sometimes thought in German, forgot and used German words, which made people smile. At first he had been lost without a companion and the daily routine of missionary work, but in the last two or three days there had been moments when he had to think about his mission to remember it, as if it were possible to forget the whole two years.
… At first he had thought that everything and everyone … had changed, but then he realized that it was himself, and that change was proof of what had happened to him on his mission, how he was new, which he couldn’t have understood in Germany. (Douglas H. Thayer, “Elder Thatcher,” Under the Cottonwoods and other Mormon stories, Provo, Utah: Frankson Books, 1977, pp. 79–80)
Top 10 things to do your first week back
from a Mormon mission
1. Take some time to rest.
2. Spend time with your family.
3. Reconnect with old friends — especially those who aren't LDS!
4. Ease into — don’t dive into — old hobbies and media habits.
5. Go to the temple.
6. Don’t be idle.
7. Set meaningful goals for yourself.
8. Eat your favorite meal from home.
9. Visit the dentist and doctor.
10. Take advantage of chances to share your mission experiences.
When “The Best Two Years” Are Over
BY JANET BRIGHAM
“A returned missionary should still serve, still plan for each day, still keep himself clean, still share the gospel. The only thing that changes is that he doesn’t go tracting,” says Elder Featherstone.
More common than a conscious abandonment of missionary habits is an unconscious lowering of one’s personal expectations. A young woman convert who served a health mission in South America describes her experience: “At first, I felt this depression, this terrible weight on me, because I had quit studying. I was getting out of tune with the Spirit. Then I began spending mornings studying my institute lessons and the scriptures. I had felt so empty; but studying again made me feel so good.”
Elder Carlos E. Asay, member of the First Quorum of the Seventy and executive director of the Missionary Department, “Returned missionaries can’t afford to lose any of their good missionary habits. If they don’t hold on to them, they’ll be throwing away two years of precious training!”
Elder Hartman Rector, Jr., member of the First Quorum of the Seventy and president of the California San Diego Mission, tells his returning missionaries to check themselves periodically on “points of positive affirmation”:
—I am morally clean. I live by Doctrine & Covenants 121:41–46.
—I sustain the general authorities and stake and ward leaders. I keep my eye on the prophet by reading what he says and then following his counsel.
—I pay a full tithe.
—I live the Word of Wisdom.
—I observe the Sabbath by using the day for “uplifting, inspiring activities,” and by not buying.
—I am honest in my dealings with my fellow men.
—I daily read, study, and ponder the scriptures.
—I daily pray with earnestness. I pray for specifics, and I pray with humility.
—I set worthwhile goals and actively work to achieve them.
—I hold a current temple recommend and attend the temple regularly. I wear the temple garments with honor and reverence. I will be married in the temple and will raise my family in the Church. I will do all in my power to have all of my family united together in the celestial kingdom.
6 Things You DON’T Need to be Happy
1. To be Married.
2. Money and Stuff.
3. The Approval of Others.
4. Ideal Circumstances.
5. A Perfect Past.
6. Control of the Changes in Life or even in Your Body.
It’s almost certain that at some point in your life, something will happen to you that you have no control over. There are actually a lot of things that you can’t control.
Here are just a few:
What other people say
What other people do
What other people think about you
The weather
Your genetic inheritance (I inherited a history of heart disease, diabetes and cancer. Yay!)
Whether or not you will get cancer, heart disease or some other disease
When you die
Gas prices
Who is in your family
Your age
Traffic or other people’s road rage
God’s will
Here are some things that you CAN control:
How often you smile
How you react to other people
Your integrity
How well you are prepared
How grateful you are
Your own interpretation of events that happen
Whether you compare yourself to others or not (wouldn’t recommend comparing yourself to anyone)
How much exercise you get
How much sleep you get (this may be debatable)
How you interpret your past
How you live in the present
The goals you set for the future
How much you commit yourself to
Your creativity
The amount of information you share with others
The books you read
Whether or not you watch TV
The type of and amount of information you consume (thank you for consuming this)
When you ask for assistance from others
Whether or not you believe what other people tell you
How often to share your love
How often you pray
Your connection to God
Dating for RM's
Most of these articles are from this fun site: TheRMTC.COM
- Looking for prospects? The Finding Pool
MormonCartoonist.com - Uncomfortable hugging, holding hands Hugs but not Kisses, Holding Hands,
- An RM's Letter to the Single Women of the Church
- Date Idea: The Musical Date, Old Movie Date Night, Cheap Dates
- Dating Monsters
- Overcoming the Awkwardness
Monday, October 29, 2012
Sunday, September 30, 2012
The Finish Line
We just had our missionary RETURN! And after making posters and decorating our home inside and out we also had time to put together a finish line sign for him to run through at the airport it was so fun and got some video of it! IT was quite a fun idea. We are loving having him home and are preparing for the next brother to get his call! Wow it is one crazy year!
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